As educators, we constantly encounter dilemmas where there isn't a single right answer. Instead of responding to these questions in black and white terms, this educator has found paths to supporting children to engage in a pedagogy of listening – inviting the children to attune to each other's thinking through questions and reflection. By doing so, the children are invited to work with the idea that sometimes there is no single right answer.

Juniper Berry's Ethical Thinking

Dashiell can’t resist bug hunting. Whether he’s in the playground or out on a walk, he’s often found exploring grassy corners in search of tiny creatures, holding them gently in his hands and watching them closely. His care and curiosity for all kinds of bugs is a constant part of his outdoor explorations.

One afternoon, I noticed Dashiell cradling a centipede. He was planning to keep it in a bucket. Ryon and Lara, watching nearby, immediately objected. “This is not okay, Dash,” they told him. “The centipede shouldn’t be in a bucket.” Dashiell didn’t respond to their concerns. He placed the centipede in the bucket and walked toward the sandbox.

Ryon watched him go, clearly frustrated. Priscilla sat beside Ryon and acknowledged how hard it can feel when someone doesn’t listen to us, especially when we care deeply about something. I gently reflected with him on how his mom often speaks to him with curiosity and respect, asking questions rather than telling him what to do.

“Do you know why she asks you questions?” Priscilla asked.

Ryon shrugged.

“Because she wants to understand what you think and how you feel. Maybe asking Dash a question could help him think about things differently.”

Ryon’s face lit up with understanding. “I got it, Priscilla!” he said, and ran to where Dashiell was.

He crouched beside him and asked, calmly and thoughtfully:

“Dash, do you think the centipede wants to be in a bucket?”

There was a pause. No answer.

Ryon tried again, and once more.

Finally, Dashiell replied: “I think the centipede likes it, because I take care of him.” Then, without saying much more, Dashiell stood up and quietly walked away from the sandbox, still carrying the bucket with him. Ryon looked over at me, his eyes searching for a response.

“You made him think, Ryon,” Priscilla said. “That was really thoughtful. And it’s okay to think differently too.”

This moment wasn’t only about whether it’s right or wrong to keep a centipede in a bucket. It was about how we approach one another when we disagree. It was about the courage to speak up for what we believe in, and also the openness to hear another perspective.

As educators, we are always learning with and alongside children. Ryon reminded me that children are capable of engaging in ethical thinking, of listening and considering, and of changing how they communicate when given a gentle nudge and an opportunity to reflect.

This experience left us with plenty of questions we can’t fully answer yet, but we’re sitting with them. For now, we’re reflecting on this one:

What shifts when we move from giving directions to simply wondering together with children?

Questions to Children:

About bugs:
What do think bugs need to feel safe and happy? (Living v.s Thriving)

How can we take care of living things around us?

About respecting each others points of view:
What can we do when someone doesn’t agree with us?

How can asking questions help us understand others better?

 

Questions to educators:

What shifts when we move from giving directions to simply wondering together with children? (The impact of our approach – pedagogical choices)

In which other ways do we support children in navigating disagreements respectfully? (Deep listening – Slowing down)

How can we model reflective listening and ethical reasoning?

How often do we invite children into dialogue rather than giving them instructions? (Are we creating space for their ideas without instructing and giving them the answers? Are we seeing children as capable contributors of shared decision-making?)

How can we create more opportunities for back-and-forth conversations with children or even among them?